Normally they start early in the morning because your destination is often many hot, sweaty, non air-conditioned miles away. You’ve packed everything you need for the day including swimming costume, sun cream and maybe even packed lunch.
March out to your pick up point where, in all fairness, the coach is normally on time. However once on the coach there will be at least another five or six more stops to pick everyone else up from their hotels. As you watch them get onboard you pick out to yourself any faults in their appearance.
During the coach journey itself there will be the tour guide who will come on over the speaker system, which is always either too loud or too quiet to hear. They will waffle on though endless facts about local facts and way of life, very little of which you will actually remember. Tip: If you are ultra concerned that you might be tested on this or just want something to tell your friends that you learnt on holiday, you might wish to take some paper and a pen. No one that I have noticed has ever done this but sometimes it pays to be attentive even if only to keep you occupied.
Along your journey there will probably be stops in which either there is nothing to do, so you end up sitting on the coach for another ½ hour. Alternatively there you are given barely enough time to look around before moving on to the next destination. Even with the second option you will still find yourself sitting on a coach for an extended period waiting for those who lost track of time, or just got lost.
Some stops can be simple five minute sightseeing breaks such as a point on high ground that overlooks the nearby town. During these stops about half the group (the ones with cameras) get out to all take essentially the same photo before getting back on. The issue I have here is that photos should really have some story behind them; a five-minute stop isn’t really going to generate much story telling material for when you bore the rest of the family flicking through your holiday photo album.
By now everyone is starting to get a little weary from the day in the sun and the exercise of getting on and off a coach. Trips with many stops often seem to repeat themselves; once you have seen one church in a country you’ve seen them all.
So finally it comes to the long journey home, time to reflect on all that you have seen during the day, those picked up first now will have to wait until the end to get back to there accommodation. As soon as you close the door to your room the urge to collapse onto the sofa/ bed (which ever is the closest) is impossible to resist. You say no more coach trips… until the next one.
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